Quick Guide 101: How To Become The Perfect Sanskari Naari

Are you an evil, liberated Indian woman who has dared to defy patriarchal norms to become your own person? Do you actually want something for yourself and do you have dreams? Shocking! You need to change all that fast and get back into your shell, your home and more specifically, the kitchen, whether you choose to or not. We live in the modern, fast-paced, 21st century, and if women will start behaving as an equal to men, it’ll be the end of the world. You don’t want to be responsible for that, do you? Count yourself lucky that you’ve been allowed to vote. Or eat with the rest of your family. However, the good news is it’s never too late to change and regress hundreds of years. Here are 30 simple ways that’ll help you become the ‘sanskari’ woman our society wants you to be.   

1. Don’t wear short clothes. If you do, you are asking for it.

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2. Cover yourself at all times. Even in summer. Those lecherous, vest-wearing saggy chested, paunchy uncles can’t have you stealing their swag.  

3. Alcohol? Never…you must swoon at the very mention of it.

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4. Hide your sanitary napkins.

5. Hide your period stain.

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6. Hide yourself from the world when you have your period. Better still, hide for 365 days a year.

7. Smoking? What’s next? You’ll want to leave the house alone? Or even drive a car.

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  • 8. Do what you’re told. Don’t dare have a personality of your own.

    9. Learn to cook. Learn to clean. Learn to wash. We must raise another generation of men who are totally incapable of looking after themselves. Or even picking up their dirty clothes off the floor.

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    10. You can’t talk about sex, even though you clearly asked for it, without asking for it.

    11. Sit with your gaze down.

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    12. Don’t cut your hair short. 

    Also Read: 15 Hilarious Tweets You’ll Relate To If You Take An Uber Or Ola Daily

    13. Don’t ever expose your knees.

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    14. Don’t dare to lose your virginity. That’s for a strange man, whom you had no say in choosing, to take from you on your wedding night.

    15. Don’t say no. Never ever say #metoo. It was likely your fault that a grown man had no impulse control in the first place.

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    16. Don’t talk to men.

    17. Don’t even look at men.

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    18. Don’t think about sex unless you’re in bed with your husband. And even then, forget what you want… Submit to him.

    19. If another man looks at you, it’s your fault.

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    20. Don’t think about having a job or a career.

    21. Become a housewife, even if that’s not what you choose.

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    22. Always submit to your elders, even if they physically, sexually and verbally abuse you.

    23. Speak your mind? Who gave you permission to have a mind of your own?

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    24. Covering your body? Covering your face with a ghunghat will give you extra brownie points.

    Also Read: Couples Who Drink Together, Stay Together & 8 Other Facts We Found About Successful Relationships

    25. Love marriage? WTF is that? That’s for s**ts.

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    26. Oh and don’t use the ‘F’ word. Ever.

    27. Don’t cuss casually. It’s unladylike.

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    28. Try not to have an opinion about anything in this world.

    29. Just grin and bear it. Whatever ‘it’ is.

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    30. Live by the motto – Men rule.

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