There was never a better time to be single. It comes with more benefits than you’ve been led to believe.
Monogamy is not ‘natural’ for human beings and science has been making that point for quite some time now. Reportedly, 80 per cent of earlier societies were all for polygamy. According to Live Science, ‘only 3 per cent to 5 per cent of the roughly 5,000 species of mammals (including humans) are known to form lifelong, monogamous bonds.’
Then why are we looking for one kind of love and at one place only? And why not enjoy singledom till the next stop?
Other studies suggest that before the modern society came to be, sleeping with multiple partners meant an expecting mother could hope to get the best qualities from various ‘fathers’ for her child. May be this was so the child would have a better social standing and having his/her future secured that way.
In the modern world, some studies indicate, a man is more likely to cheat or have extramarital sex, owing to the need to spread the seed. Hopesandfears.com puts it as: “Having only one lover at a time isn’t monogamy—it’s closer to serial polygyny.” But you’re not the only one confused. Many scientists and researchers are still on the fence about that kind of behaviour.
That said, monogamy is not impossible to achieve. If anything, the past 1000 years are proof of that. Inference: the concept of fidelity to one partner is relatively new. But the opposite is also true – many societies, in fact, still celebrate a man taking many wives but morality frowns on the reverse. While there’s still plenty to understand there, let’s ask this question for now: what led to the sudden popularity of monogamy in modern society? And how are the countless dating apps today are propagating this idea?
Side note: people are not using online dating apps for finding love or quick hook-ups. They’re there instead for confidence boost.
According to Psychology Today, one theory (there are only theories at this point) hints at the “two parent” advantage. This means, the helpless human child benefits from attention from two parents as opposed to one. “The human species has evolved to make commitments between males and females in regards to raising their offspring, so this is a bond,” says Jane Lancaster, an evolutionary anthropologist at the University of New Mexico. “However that bond can fit into all kinds of marriage patterns – polygyny, single parenthood, monogamy,” she tells Live Science.
A little research online will perhaps also leave you with the idea that another reason for the rise of monogamy could be the modern idea of ‘love’ and companionship. This is where the dating apps probably come in. Not that any kind of love, discovered online or offline, is enough guarantee it’ll last or stick just long enough with you.
There’s still plenty to be understood and researched about monogamy and polygamy and child rearing behaviour. What we can do is look at what we know. Here’s some of the single person behaviour we’ve noticed:
1. ‘Demographically, single people are more powerful than ever before.’ In India, out of a population of over a billion, 513 million (49.8%) have ‘never married’, mainly due to high proportion of young people. The ‘married’ constitute about 45.6% of the total population.
2. Not lonely, the ‘single at heart’ are now living more fulfilling lives. “Single people are doing much better than we’ve been led to believe, and in some ways, they are doing better than married people,” Bella DePaulo, a project scientist at the University of California Santa Barbara told Huffington Post.
3. Single people are enjoying more sex than their married counterparts.
4. Contrary to what we were told earlier, marriage does not spell better health anymore, or better self-esteem.
5. One-person households are seeing a rise.
6. Human onesies are also spending more time with their parents and friends (which explains the second point on the list).
Sharina Mae Agellon/unsplash
7. Not so much a science but single women above 40 looking to adopt a child have been put on a priority list by the government, which has obvious benefits.
8. No, marriage is no longer the ticket to a happier life, states one study.
9. According to one research ‘women are happier than men being single,’ reports abc.net.au.
Rodolfo Sanches Carvalho/unsplash
10. We spoke about the two-parent advantage earlier. Turns out, children do just as well with parents who are single by choice.
11. There is one other thing to be considered here: there are many great single women but hardly any great single men. So, why not enjoy what life is giving you now?
May be Noah has a lot to reconsider.
Card image: Rodolfo Sanches Carvalho/unsplash
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